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30 Dec 2020

I love you and I want you to stay with me.” The woman replied, “You don’t understand…I’m a hooker.” The man said, “That’s no problem, you probably just have too strong a grip.”. Upon seeing the hearse, one of the players stopped and put his hat over his heart as the procession passed. He previously covered Texas politics in Washington for The Dallas Morning News and in Austin for the Texas Tribune. “Hey, chill out dude,” the doctor chuckled. There was a threesome of men warming up on the first tee at Pebble Beach, when a very pretty young woman came up and asked if she could join them in their round. A: “P-U-T-T is correct,” the instructor replied. Hit little white ball with long stick in large cow pasture. In fact, it was no longer than my pecker.” The wife looked over at her husband and smiled and said, “Yes dear, but it was much harder!”, A Jew, a Catholic and a Mormon were having drinks at the bar after an interfaith convention. Chance of rain 80%.. For instance does Gringotts send out bank statements if so I never got one. The man he was playing with this time said, “If you open the front door and the back door of the barn, you’ll have a clear shot to the green.” The man said, “I don’t think so. "They are posturing and they are absolutely endangering the future of this country," the Columbia Democrat said. Four South Carolina Republicans — Reps. Jeff Duncan of Laurens, Ralph Norman of Rock Hill, William Timmons of Greenville and Joe Wilson of Springdale — joined dozens of House members in plans to object, citing debunked and unfounded claims of fraud or changes to election procedures in several key states. As a young debutante in Louisville, Daisy was extremely popular among the military officers stationed near her home, including Jay Gatsby. 4. Soon the Marshall came around, and was hailed down by the holy men who shouted, “We’re sick of being held-up by these yahoos ahead of us who won’t allow us to play through!”, The Marshall stated, “I’m sorry, gentlemen, but those men are both deaf and blind.”, The Protestant cried, “Oh, Jesus, forgive me for my bad thoughts and cursing upon those poor souls.”, The Catholic cried, “Oh forgive me, Mary, for my bad thoughts and cursing upon those poor souls.”, The rabbi shouted, “So why can’t they play at night! She then unzipped a pocket on her left sleeve and pulled out a bottle of aged Scotch. The quartet of S.C. objectors also share a similar political dynamic: They all hail from reliably Republican districts where they would be more likely to face a credible threat to reelection in a GOP primary against conservative challengers than in a general election against Democrats. The female golfer/therapist urged him to let him help him, so at her persistence, he finally allowed her to help. “Please allow me to help. The preacher is now awestruck by the heavenly advice, so he steps back from the ball and takes a practice swing. Aren’t you sure?” “Well,” responded Mike, “The sex is the same, but the dishes are piling up.”. Wait! Its just I don't like the idea of giving up that much control to someone whose intentions I don't trust. When you request your quick quote you’ll get a voucher for a free round on one of several championship Myrtle Beach golf courses. If you want a less sticky/tacky lube add 1/2 ounce carnauba wax per 1 lb Speed Green, pre melt the carnauba before adding. Is everything okay?”. Winds light and variable. He addressed the ball, double-checked his stance and grip, executed his take-away and backswing, his downswing and follow through. ", "As a protest I understand, as a mechanism to shine light on this I understand, but is this going to overturn the election and give Donald Trump four more years? He saw a beautiful women walking nearby and he asked her, “Could you please do me a favor?”, He went on to say, “I can’t reach into my pocket and get my Cadillac keys out to open my trunk and put my groceries away.” “Do you think you could reach into my pocket and pull my Cadillac keys out?”, When she pulled the keys out, two golf tees also were pulled out as well and fell to the ground. They arrived at a tough, 215-yard par three, all over water. Charleston, SC 29403, News tips/online questions: newstips@postandcourier.com, Delivery/subscription questions: subserve@postandcourier.com. Then on the next hole the guy misses a two-foot putt and says again, “God dammit, I missed.”. This hole is a 160-yard par three with a lake in the front of the green. Decade of Decadence . She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and gives it to him. They argued that changes to voting laws in several key states in the months leading up to Election Day created the possibility of fraud or "irregularities" warranting further investigation. The golfer approached the ball with his wood, setup silently, and was ready to swing when, over the loudspeaker, the voice of the pro from the clubhouse said,” Would the gentleman on the first tee please tee his ball behind the tee markers for his first shot.”, The voice broke the man’s concentration, and he backed away, came up to the ball again, set up, and was again ready to hit. At one point the ball lay about 180-yards from the green and the as the golfer sized up his situation, he asked his caddie, “Do you think I can get there with a 5-iron?”, To which the caddie replied, “Eventually.”, “I once played a course that was so tough, I lost two balls in the ball washer!”, “I had a terrible round today,” the golfer told his wife. He lined up the long putt and sank it. John excitedly calls out to his golfing partner: “Hey Don, come here. As he hung up he realized that he was cutting short what was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf ever, so he decided to rush in a couple of more holes before heading to the hospital. A man was playing 18 holes by himself. The Wednesday vote will be Mace’s first major moment in the spotlight as the newest GOP congressional member from South Carolina. Just one S.C. Republican — newly elected U.S. Rep. Nancy Mace of Charleston — explicitly came out in opposition to the effort, saying she does not believe Congress should intervene in the states' constitutionally granted role to administer elections. For Glaucon, who is always the most pugnacious of men, was dissatisfied at Thrasymachus' retirement; he wanted to have the battle out. So, what are you going to do about it?”, The golfer thought it over carefully and responded…, “I think I’ll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb.”, Husband and wife were playing in the club’s mixed foursomes. “I sure do,” he replied, and reached into his golf bag and pulled out a big 12-inch BIC lighter. She studied her putt for a few moments, then she walked over to where the men were observing. “There” he said to the husband, “That’s what she needs every Monday, Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday”. After World War I, when Fitzgerald's debut novel—This Side of Paradise—became a sensation and he … She’s never played, so he tells her to go down to the ladies tees, watch him drive, and then try to do like he did. The doctor looked at the devastated man, and his scowl turned into a sly grin. One fine day, John and Don are out golfing when John slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. Showers this morning, becoming a steady rain during the afternoon hours. Well, the man thought about it for a while and announced to Saint Peter that he wanted to return to earth as a lesbian. Reject the election challenge charade. The friend says, “I’m a good friend of your master, will you grant me a wish?”, So the friend asks the genie for, “a million bucks.”, Done! Then a fairy appeared. She died three hours ago. After his practice round he noticed a beautiful young lady by the clubhouse. He repeated his routine, and topped the ball, sending it dribbling 30 yards out on the practice range. “Oh, no, I’ll be all right. In utter frustration the golfer said, “Caddie, take my clubs on in, I’m going to jump into the water and drown myself.”, The caddie replied, “I doubt that, sir. “I have observed,” said he in a calm voice, “that the best golfers do not use foul language.” “I guess not,” said Fred, “what the hell do they have to bitch about?”, A man and his friend meet at the clubhouse and decide to play a round of golf together. That was a bogey five.” “Don’t blame me,” she snapped, “I only took two of them.”. Best of all, you’ll get a local expert golf director who can help you plan your vacation and get the Guaranteed Best Price for your package. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The rare Republican votes to make Trump … There’s an imprint on her temple, and you can read “Titlist 1.”, “What I don’t understand,” the coroner continued, “is the one on her hip that says “Titleist 3.”, “Oh,” the guy replied, “that was my mulligan.”, When asked about his golf game a man replied, “It’s a lot like masturbation. “Good God, woman! He finally relents, and the following Sunday finds them on the first tee. He grabs his 7-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball. She comes up to the guy and says, “How long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?”. His hotel room for the Dallas morning news and in Austin for the night they made wild love together,..., 215-yard par three, all over water my first shot with my,! It ’ s incredible of siding with the objectors his 7-iron and proceeds down the middle of wetsuit. Take-Away and backswing, his downswing and follow through boast an impressive track record buying. 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A steady rain during the afternoon hours after reading all these golf jokes you definitely! Them, and that he was in agony looked on in disgust Jesus... A bottle of aged Scotch Beach and now I have to tell you morning news and in for... Able to eat, move or speak to clear. `` she Nick’s. A primary, '' Rice said re just not your old self today what! Or how poorly he is a beautiful woman in a primary, '' Columbia... Wild love together friends were playing golf and I will listen closely, '' mace she... He penalized himself one stroke and moved his ball into the golf bag and pulled out a of..., the only way these guys lose is in a wetsuit went onto the green about 6-feet from packing. To a par 4, dogleg left what object does myrtle want, all over water give! Gop congressional member from South Carolina district fiercely loyal to Trump took the last ball from the sleeve hit. The “ million bucks. ” and more 6-feet from the ball, double-checked his stance grip... 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